MEMO TO MEN: Love in real life

TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: Melissa
RE: Honestly honest honesty
DATE: November 21, 2011
I like to think I've been nothing if not honest with you, boys. After all, I could have buried in shame the fact that I've never been kissed, never been on a date and never had a boyfriend. But I haven't. Ever. And after all, I could have just deleted a recent comment asking some tough questions. But I didn't. Why? Because I'm a big fan of full disclosure. So let's continue to keep everything out in the open, shall we, boys? I give you my honest answers to some honest questions...

Please inform us on what you base your "opinions" because I truly am curious. Do you get your material from friends...family....tv shows..magazines?
Hmmm, material? The last time I checked, I wasn't living under a rock. I get material by just living life; just because I'm not having romantic relationships doesn't mean I'm not inspired by the things around me.

How do you know what questions should be asked in a relationship?
Oh, boys...I've obviously had quite a bit of time to think about this one. Whether you've been in a relationship or not, you know some basic things you want in that relationship. Maybe it's almost instinctual on some level. You don't have to put your hand in the fire to know that it's hot. Everyone's set of questions is going to be different, and my set of questions reflects what I'm looking for in a relationship.
How do you know what being in love feels like?
OK, so maybe I don't know exactly what it feels like to be in love, but I've mastered the art of loving from afar. In fact, unrequited love and I are practically best friends by now, so I figure that has to count for something. The heart pounding. The feeling of not being able to stop thinking about the other person. The instant smile that crosses your face when you think of said person. The doodles you make in the margins of your notebook, writing Mr. (fill in the blank) over and over again. And besides, being in love is going to feel different from relationship to relationship, and even people in relationships have a hard time describing love. It's not something you feel in words, is it? It's something you feel in your heart.

How do you know what men are thinking?
Oh gosh, that's the million-dollar question, isn't it? I only wish I knew what men were thinking. Wouldn't that be the ultimate super power? If I knew, a lot of my love questions would be answered. I could beat you, boys at your own game. I could get inside your head and mess with you. Oh, the possibilities...
How do you know what your reactions would be on a date?
Who hasn't thought about how they would act on a date? We all fantasize about scenarios - what we'd say, what our date would say, how we'd fill those awkward gaps of silence. And while we don't know exactly what is going to happen on a date, we all have expectations. I'd be lying if I said I had zero expectations. True, it's probably going to be nothing like I've pictured it in my head for all these years, but right now, in 2011, if I were to go on a date, I'm pretty sure I'd act like an awkward fish out of water. And for now, I'm quite comfortable with that.

Again, boys, a lot of it is all about what you feel in your heart. Because when you think about it, unlike your mind, your heart will never lie to you. It will never trick you. It will never confuse you. It will always tell you the truth. And so will I, boys... xoxo

[Photos via Le Love]