Well, Sweetpea, today marks my 30th Valentine's Day eating from my small box of assorted chocolates as a singleton. It's sort of weird to fathom. As I sat in the waiting room this morning waiting to get my blood drawn (ironic, on Valentine's Day, I know...), I watched as several beautifully decorated bouquets arrived for doctors, nurses and lab technicians. You'd think it would have made my heart ache just a teeny tiny bit.Surprisingly, it didn't. At all. A few years ago, I may have ended up a puddle of tears right there on that linoleum floor, scared that love would never find me, that I'd be left to live the rest of my days as a spunky spinster and waxing poetic about how I was just generally unlovable.
But not this year. I've vowed to embrace my singlehood. And you know what, Sweetpea? It all feels very liberating. It makes me want to burst into song a la a Broadway musical. Now, it doesn't mean I'm not looking forward to meeting you, or that I don't need you in my life because I am -- and I do. I suppose it's just that right now, in 2012, I'm realizing that my world isn't going to end if I'm unattached for awhile. I'm probably the one making a big deal of it, not everyone else. Maybe I just need to live and let things fall place naturally. But I do wonder: At what age do you qualify for spinsterhood? I can't help but laugh at the thought of that. After all, if you don't laugh, you cry, right, Sweetpea? Until we meet...
P.S. Oh shoot, Crimson and Clover just came on the radio on the way home. Is that a message from you? What? You don't know about my secret wish to have that as our wedding song? Well, more on that later?... :)
[Photos via We Heart It]
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